Rejection and the angst of it all
Written back in 2012 when I was writing a lot of poetry and sending it off to various literary journals etc.
You might be able to relate to this in some other area of your life.
Plus a special Coming Soon announcement.
Same time, next night
Another form rejection email
Like a razor blade in the dust
And I’m not supposed to let it bother me
But it does
They come like a stack of cards
One on top of the other
And I wonder why I subject myself to this.
I think about them
And other things
While I’m struggling with a stubborn back
Through the night
And I piss too much
Have to get up too early
And sort out who I will send to next.
I’m always tired
And I know part of the reason
I feel this way
Is because of the drink
And the dark overcoat
Which some call the black dog
And I’m not supposed to mix the two
Until I get to that time of day
When a beer fixes anything
And I’ll take on those snobby publications
With their lifeless academic formulas
And pump out a couple of poems
That I believe in
With life and history
Of people and emotion
And at the very least
They shine with truth
Without giving a shit
If the university graduates
Get it or not
Until those same folks
Fire their cut and paste job
And keep me here at 3.54 am
Thinking I need a piss.
I know now I need to challenge my own depressive thought processes. They go back as far as I can remember. I have much to be grateful for and need to count my blessings daily.
I did get quite a few POEMS published. Dozens. Though it took up so much of my time. At least two hours a day. And I was parenting and working and many of them charge fees so I spent a bit as well. I did get many published over a few years and thought it would help me get published, which it didn't, or some new readers, which it didn't. I eventually stopped sending them out.
Now they're for you. (The best ones are in my books). There's plenty as yet unpublished. And I'm still writing them but not to the same level as I once did.
Many new and positive poems in my new book plus many stories.
If you like anything I do, please share. It's still very difficult to reach people. I've tried advertising. It doesn't work. Word of mouth is still the most effective. You're it!
My unproduced feature length screenplay, Travel Bug, based on some of my travels when I was young. Not for the feint of heart! A cheeky piece indeed.