Short Courses at the Social Justice Warriors Online College
(written in late 2019)
Social Justice College
We're cheap and we're easy!
You too can... A) Feel better about yourself.
B) Be morally superior to others.
C) Build your online reputation (and potential employment opportunities) as someone who really cares and is passionate about reform.
The upside is you barely have to do anything! All you have to do is a write a couple of online posts, spit out a couple of rants, share a few articles and that's it! You don't actually have to do any real work. You don't have to become a volunteer. You don't have to donate to any charity. In fact, you can do sweet fuck all. At the very most, you will have to go and join a protest. It's another way of doing sweet F.A. and you'll get some great selfies and hashtags out of it!
Just like you, we're really busy. For heaven's sake, who's got time to do anything of substantial value that takes time and money? We have full time jobs. We work really hard. There's meeting up with friends for coffee to be done. Go out on dinner dates. Binge the latest series on Netflix. Scroll through hours and days worth of pointless Instagram and Facebook posts and do some online shopping for crap you don't need, imported from slave labour camps in China. No doubt you'll have holidays to plan too! That shit takes time!
All it takes to become a real online Warrior is well, nothing much at all. Come and join the online college and we will teach you how to become a Social Justice Warrior in under 10 minutes! Because that's all there is to it. In fact, now that you've read this post, you've practically graduated! Congratulations! Go forth and keep up the good fight. Remember, it's not a fight unless other people see it, so get out there and start ranting!
Here are some ready made hashtags.
Just copy and paste. Even less work for you!
# save the planet, free the refugees, free the turtles, ban plastic, more power for women, no coal seam gas, white men suck, raise the pension, say no to poverty, bring down the government, black lives matter, stop the bad things that people do and say, except when I do and say it, end the rape culture, trump is naughty, stop offensiveness, destroy the patriarchy, capitalism is bad, marxism is the new black, communism is looking better by the day etc.
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