How to Increase your Diversity Strength!
(If easily offended, please read on*).
Worried that you just don’t cut it in the modern world?
Tired of being overlooked because of your skin colour, gender or sexuality?
Being left out of the employment quotas market?
What you need is…
The New World Order can include you too. You just have to change who you are. It’s not as difficult as it sounds.
If you’re a man, wear a dress. It doesn’t cost much, and its simple to achieve.
Watch people’s eyes light up, but not a word will leave their mouths.
You’ll be certain to maintain your job position now! Also great for job interviews.
Starter Package for the
Face painting is out. The ol' Black Face is considered racist. (White face is okay). The Next Best Thing to being black, is going brown. You can claim you’re from any background then. Or even mixed race. In fact, you won’t have to state where you’re from at all. People will be too scared to ask. And as we know, possessing Diversity means more Power. Bathe in the Silence!
'I am not white!' - New Native
Come along to our new, Enhanced Tanning Salon. You can get that all over look for that crucial job interview, or even a first date. Once you give up white, you'll be reeling in all the big bites!
D I V E R S I T Y = It's not just for a few! Well it is, but it can include you too!
His New Street Cred.
He told his friends he had a 'Soul Sister' for a girlfriend. His online business doubled overnight.
You want a more permanent solution? You need the Diversity Enhancer Double Strength. You can go the whole hog and get your skin laser treated! Or if that’s too intense for you, we have special Diversity Medication you can go on. It worked for Michael Jackson. It can work for you too!
He was ahead of his time. He just went the wrong way.
While not as effective as skin alterations, you can always claim you’re 2% Indigenous/African /Indian/Native etc. Who are they to know? Many have gotten away with it. You can too!
You can identify as a man or a woman too for that matter. Whatever suits the occasion. Better still, go Gender Neutral and beat the odds! It's all the craze!
From White Shite to Future Bright!
He now has a girlfriend! (first in 19 years)
If those situations sound a little daunting, here’s an easy one. You can claim you’re bi-sexual. It’s the most non-intrusive of all. Or just go the whole hog, as we like to say here at Diversity International, and say you’re Gay or Lesbian. Who are they to know? Will they follow you to your bedroom? Does what you get up behind closed doors impact on your job? Of course not. But stating it on your job application can put you at the front of the queue! Remarkable!
After losing their factory jobs eight years earlier, all three got jobs at the Bank
(provided they wear their dresses).
Build your Diversity Strength Today.
Acceptance Awaits You Too!
Join now and get a huge discount on the Priceless Victim Meter!
This advertisement was brought you by Diversity International
building a more inclusive world for everyone.
Even straight, white, conservative people.
(jokes - you guys are fucked).
(*this post was written in Nov. 19).