Winning Reality TV ideas

I’m working on scripts for several pilots…

Yep, they're just like us

Reality TV

A goldmine of cheap production and crappy ideas, shipped internationally, remade locally, for endless season after season. No quality writing required. Get a bunch of superficial, so called good looking arso-holics, put them together and video the result.

I thought I'd cash in on this phenomenon.

The first idea is a take on My Kitchen Rules.

My Toilet Rules

A panel sits around (and on) the bowl and see who can deliver the best number twos. Points to be judged on; consistency, texture, smell and um, taste. Ensure that the contestants are also assholes, to make sparks (and flatulence) fly.

Married at First Blight, Divorced at First Argument

Fitting in with the times, with people being unable to get past any difficulties in relationships. We find out who can stomach a difference of opinion, and who pussies out the fastest. Use real people in love, but whom love themselves more.

Dancing with the Cars

Find the most annoying contestants, and the busiest motorway and have them perform complex dances across it (and hopefully, removing them from the gene pool before they breed).

Auditioning for Dancing with the Cars.

Folks, we have a winner!

The Really Real Housewives (and Husbands)

Film some actual housewives (or dudes), of lowly income, doing it tough with a whole bunch of kids, no cleaners, or airs and graces, no hairspray, lippie, foundation or man gel. Instead highlight vacuuming, sweeping, doing dishes, washing and hanging out clothes, making kids lunch, dealing with screaming, crying, ass wiping, pets tearing up the furniture and stuff like that. You know, the shit that normal people have to do.

COPS (Off Duty)

Follow these cops as they come home from the front line, grab a beer or soda pop, plop their ass on the couch and watch the football, maybe shred a dumbbell, eat some chips then burp, fart and scratch their sweaty bits.

The Fake News

It’s the polar opposite of what happens now, (Fox NEWS, CNN, wherever). So we call it The Fake News, but make it as truthful and unbiased as possible. If it all possible.

Actually, forget it.

The Bachelor

Follow an ugly, obese, filthy loser and discover why he’s a Bachelor… and likely to remain one.

The Bachelorette

See above.

The Jersey Shore Cliff

Find the most vain, narcissistic, awfully plastic people possible, take them to the Cliffs of Jersey Shore and last one down, (in the fastest way possible) is the winner.

The first series ended quickly as they all wanted to win so badly that they pushed each other off in a mass extinction event. The winner? The audience!