End of life Milestones
Misplaced treasures
At 79
One tends to spend
More time looking back
Than forward
(perhaps a sign that I need a new hobby).
I reflect on key moments
Milestones if you will
And yes,
I did have many successes
In my chosen field
(Or perhaps it chose me)
Yet, there were a plethora
Of setbacks too
Disappointments
(And dare I admit it)
Failures.
Still, it's the lost loves
I keep returning to
(Like my ex wife)
And oddly
The ones I never had
Possibilities
That I let slip by
If only I had done x...
It’s as though
The work
Which I allowed to consume me
Mattered not at all
And was only there to prop me up
While my real life played-out.
If only I’d been more aware of that.
The only milestone that really meant anything
Was the moment my only child was born
Without her
I think I’d be a very bitter
And regretful old man today.
In those days
Parents didn't spend the sort of
Interactive hours
That people do now
And though I do disagree
On other facets of modern parenting
(Like discipline and structure)
I do regret those missing hours.
Those early years especially
Just flew by
I seemed to miss so much.
We have made up for it since
I'm a very doting grandparent
Yet, I can't shake off the notion
That the greatest milestones
Are the ones
I never had.
31.1.21
From Us & Them and the things in-between
Speaking of old men, I read this fascinating study about them. It mirrors my experiences while working in a nursing home. Elderly women coped much better with their situation than men. Worth noting too that suicide among men over 75 is the highest bracket of all ages and genders. Read HERE
Usually I write however I'm feeling in the moment but this was written with an eye to a submission.
Ginninderra Press were doing a call out for poems on the theme of Milestone. I wrote this one. Then decided to write another. It was called Milestoned. I submitted the latter and it was accepted. It was put up near the front, so I was very happy.
I still liked this one so decided to include it in Us & Them.
