Wax On, Wrinkles Off
Made from secret ingredients! However... we can tell you this – it contains real DNA! What better way to reverse the ageing process than to add real genes to our genius!
The cells within our bloodstream constantly rejuvenates our skin all the time. Often referred to as midichlorians. We literally have a new body every year thanks to dying skin cells being replaced with new ones! What if we could tap into those new cells, replicate them and add to our own ageing bodies to replenish the stock?
Well, now you can! This amazing new cream will have you doing cartwheels no matter your physical shape. It's a game changer for the ages, er, all ages!
It’s a little slippery, as it’s quite oily, but boy oh boy, it does the job! Here’s the trick. And while it sounds difficult, even a little silly, don’t let it put you off. You simply smear the oil on the bottom of your feet, then in the most comfortable way possible, (we find hanging off a couch works best, but if you’re really fit, you may be able to do it against the wall), then, to the best of your ability, rotate yourself 180 degrees. We want that oil to disappear into your skin and drain upwards, towards the brain. The oily properties seep out as they travel downwards, or in this case, upwards! Your body will literally renew itself from the feet up, all the way to the top of your head!
Now it will take a while to get to your face. We won’t skirt around that fact. Yet, if you put in the time, you will start to see the results. Your ankles will be shining like new in no time!
You can always watch TV or an iPad upside down. You can even prop a book against a pillow and read. You’ll be surprised what you can achieve in this position! Some people have even found it rekindles their libido! We’ll let you use your own imagination on that one as we could be in breach of some law, but don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Not quite what we meant
Watch your life be turned upside down, literally, as you fly back in time. Hell, they’ll be passing you off for a teenager in no time!
The Oil comes in easily dispensed hand pumps, or you can purchase our automatic super spray. A small hose connects to a drum and it automatically sprays onto your feet, at intervals that you control, from one minute, to one hour, so you don’t have to bother moving at all!
We even manufacture our own diapers for those truly ambitious folks in a hurry to get the job done, so that they don’t have to waste time walking to the bathroom to er, get the job done!
WOWO Diapers. They work. He's 55!
When you see the results, you may even prefer life hanging upside down every available opportunity! If see someone in a supermarket tilting their head to read labels, guaranteed they’re 20 years older than they look!
Skin Can Age Modern. (SCAM)